A few days a go I got to play “Santa” for my colleagues. I was to plan the yearly Christmas lunch in pleasant company with my partner in crime, Lasse.
I had so much fun planning it that I simply forgot that I my self had to participate in the “challenges”.
Well well well - or should I say Ho ho ho - here we went again on the yearly Christmas lunch with the colleagues. And once again we managed to survive - and this time literally speaking.
We met early to a shooting session. Real shooting with real guns and scores (I will not mention who actually won the battle and who didn't. It's simply not relevant for my story). We were under the expert supervision of Finn, Stanley & Erling the serious ‘Gunsters’ from DGI so we all survived the shooting ....only to try and kill ourselves with a 'Finish-sauna-theme' in DGI byens kurbad afterwards. “What is that?”, you might ask yourself, “Finish-sauna theme?!”
Well well well…(or ho ho ho): First you stand awful close to a lot of people wearing short bathrobes. Then you remove your own bathrobe and expose your winter-body wrapped in totally-out-of-date-swimwear and unfortunately the guy standing next to you is a “speedo-kind-of-guy”.
Then you crawl (the exact same and unpleasant way the guy’s speedoes crawl up his…) together in a 97 degrees sauna while a medicine-woman (probably born and raised in Rødovre) tells you “how to breathe and stay grounded”. Completely “cooked” you crawl out only to continue “cooking” in the steam bath a cross the floor. Here you receive nice smelling oil to rub on to your cellulites area (“keep it coming”, you smile to the medicine-woman, and she kindly gives you more of the wonder oil).
Finally you get to hit (or spank?) your colleagues with leaves (from Finland of course) and then you’ll be offered salty fish to swallow. I politely but firmly refused (my colleagues weren’t exactly singing “Catjes yeah yeah” while swallowing the little devils).
What a jolly way to be together! What a fun thing to do! Ho ho ho!
But we had great fun! It maybe was a bit humiliating and embarrassing but when the medicine-woman declared that….”please remember - before you continue your night out - that after being in this sauna treatment one beer will hit you like four!” we all seemed to replace the embarrassment with sweet dreams of the wine and beers we were soon to enjoy at Bibendum.
About one o’clock I felt the three bottles of red wine – times four – hit me like a train and hat to take off. Next day my head almost exploded in pain. That was the first punishment for forcing the others into finish-sauna theme. The second punishment came today when I saw the pictures.
If I was Santa that evening there is no doubt that Santa can be a monster: Look at that scary, scary person….uhh!